I had a realization when I was meditating today that relates to yesterday’s post. (I know I am not supposed to be dwelling on thoughts while meditating but I can’t help it – see below).
Yesterday, I blamed my recent difficulty focusing on my morning meditation on my busy schedule that has become increasingly hectic with the addition of an hour of exercise each day. My aha moment this morning, was when I realized that this is not the case. Exercise and schedule overload have nothing to do with it. I realized (as my restless mind continually wandered) that I am having a hard time meditating these past few days because I am actually awake.
When I was drinking coffee, I was relying on the caffeine to wake me up. So I would meditate before my first cup of coffee while I was still half-asleep. My mind was very quiet then because it still had one foot in dream land.
Now that I am not drinking coffee, my mind is learning to wake up on it’s own (uh-oh). So when I sit down to meditate at 6:30 in the morning, my brain has already started thinking about how hard it is to meditate, and how I should really focus on my breathing or something and stop thinking so much, and what I am going to have for breakfast, and what nightmare is awaiting me at work, and what I am going to blog about, and what I am going to have for lunch, and how bad I am at meditating, and so on.
So there’s my new theory. Meditation downfall due to alert mind, not evil exercise schedule. Oh well, you can’t win ’em all (Exercise:1 Kris:0).